For a very good article on estate planning issues for second marriages, you should read Sticky Issue: Avoiding the problems that come up in estate planning for parents of blended families. I think for the layperson it explains the problems clearly and I do think there is a great deal of good sense in this paragraph:
What is most advisable is to deal with these issues squarely and to plan accordingly. Do not ignore them and assume that, somehow, the problems will be resolved. They will be resolved, after a lot of money has been spent on attorneys, and whatever threads of a relationship going forward have been shredded.
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