Online Divorce Resources Reviewed

Divorce Transitions - not much for lawyers being designed for the clients. If you are looking for information that is more than legal (such as handling the stress of a divorce), then this site may be of use. Note that they have things to sell.

Moving Out, Moving On - bills itself as a an online workbook for when a relationship goes wrong.

Divorce Magazine.com - a bit too busy a site for my tastes, but here is how it describes itself:

Divorce Magazine is the Internet's leading divorce and separation resource site, providing information and advice about divorce law, divorce lawyers, family law, children and divorce, and other divorce-related issues as well as information on divorce professionals such as family lawyers and online divorce. At Divorce Magazine, we realize that going through a divorce is a very delicate matter, and we're here to help you through the divorce and separation process.

Life123 has a a series of articles here on divorce dealing with those issues that are not strictly law stuff but which can easily impact a case.

Is This a Trend? Publicizing Visitation Problems Online?

Some may notice that I am now on Twitter - there is a feed from my Twitter posts in the sidebar. Others may not know what is Twitter - I tend to think of it as online chat on steroids. People opt in to follow what one writes.

One person following me goes by the name of wiferevolution. And what does wiferevolution write about? The problems that their new husbands have in enforcing their visitation rights. Although just starting out, they have the potential to reach millions.

here we go with the ex and her exchange drama. Why can't she just obey #court orders. #fathers_rights #divorce #child_custody 2:52 AM Jan 6th from web

So will publicity change how people behave? Maybe. I doubt that the ex-wives complained of in their tweets and on their blog will do anything to change their ways unless they get named. That means loss of wiferevolution's privacy.

Some day, someone will start naming names. Naming the parties, the lawyers, the judges and so on. Yes, that will move the tawdriness and the fighting out of the relative anonymity of the real world into the openness of the Internet. I can see a great deal of ugliness, probably some defamation litigation, but maybe also some benefits in that people will start thinking more about their behavior. No, it will not be cure all - some people will not care what anyone thinks.

As I write this, I have in mind a case coming up later this week. Opposing counsel and I have made every effort to get the mother to follow the visitation order. The parties agreed to mediation and everything went fine - for about a week. Saying my client is terribly frustrated is an understatement. His frustration only compounds my own - until a judge finally hears the case, there is nothing more for me to do. The idea that publicity would shame her into better behavior appeals to me. I suspect that wiferevolution finds writing about the ex-wife problems releases some of the frustration. I think that my client would find the same release, through a similar outlet, if he had the time.

Online Resources For Parents

My Indiana readers from Madison County may be familiar with our Children in the Middle Seminar while those in Ripley, Brown, Monroe, Hamilton, and Marion Counties should know of the Children Cope with Divorce program. Florida Divorce * Child Custody * Domestic Violence Law Lawyer reports that Missouri (and Florida) have similar programs online:

University Develops Online Co-Parenting Course for Separated Parents That Graduates Report Really Helps!

Now, researchers at the University of Missouri’s Human Development and Family Studies program have developed an online program, called Focus on Kids Online, to comply with Missouri’s legal requirement. (Florida’s four hour class is also available online.)

And a bit more here from Science Daily Digital solutions developed to support divorced families

HDFS researchers developed Focus on Kids Online, a training course that helps parents going through divorce build stronger, more supportive relationships with their children. The Web-based program is designed to offer parents an alternative to in-person trainings. After completion of the course, parents reported improved relationships and better awareness of separation-related problems and how to solve them, according to new HDFS research by David Schramm, assistant professor, and Graham McCaulley, HDFS doctoral student.

The face-to-face version of Focus on Kids satisfies the Missouri law that requires parents who are divorcing to attend an educational program. It is conducted in cooperation with Missouri's circuit courts and available in 50 counties. Ganong says the online program is growing and will be made available to other states in the future. (Science Daily)

Hoosiers might notice that Missouri's program was created by state statute. I wonder if this HDFS keeps any statistics on its effectiveness.

Indiana Family Law Resources

I am not sure how many readers take a look at the sidebar because some seem to miss a collection of links I have under the heading of Indiana Family Law Resources.

When I created this list, my thought was to create a mini-portal for the most important sources for Indiana family. That does not work very well if no one notices that the information is here.

Nor is it really much use to those using RSS feeds or who have an e-mail subscription.

Every parent should bookmark the first three links.

• Indiana's Parenting Time Guidelines
• Indiana Child Support Guidelines
• Indiana's Online Child Support Calculator
• Indiana Trial Courts and Clerks
• Indiana's Family Law and Juvenile Law Code
• Indiana Rules of Trial Procedure
• Indiana Rules of Appellate Procedure

If you are looking for a specific trial court, then go to Indiana Trial Court and Clerks. This page is maintained by our Indiana Supreme Court. Find the county and this will take you a page showing contact information for each court in a county, the judge's name, a map to the courthouse, and a link to the county's local rules.

Indiana's Family Law and Juvenile Code takes you to Title 31 of the Indiana Code. Here you will find the statutes on marriage, annulment, divorce, parenting time, custody, paternity. child support, and more.

The Indiana Rules of Trial Procedure contains all the rules needed in handling a case procedurally (as opposed to the substance found i the Guidelines and statutes). Not all apply to family law - such as anything dealing with jury trials - but these need knowing for trying a case and they apply in all counties.

Indiana Rules of Evidence are those rules about what is relevant evidence and how we get that evidence before a court. Don't follow these and you do not get your case made.

Indiana Rules of Appellate Procedure are the rules on how to create and handle an appeal in Indiana's Court of Appeals and Supreme Court.

Well, I hope this helps. Bookmark the specific sites or come back here - these will be here.

New Blog for Child Custody, Joint Custody and Shared Custody

I ran across this blog by way of LinkedIn's American Divorce Lawyers group. Its title captures its subject: Child Custody, Joint Custody and Shared Custody.

Quite a wealth of material here, to the point of almost seeming a bit overwhelming. It is much more geared towards parents than lawyers. I think parents should bookmark this one.

News: Indiana County Case Information Online

I only recently noticed All Things Family Law - Indiana Divorce & Family Law Blog's Boone County Court Cases Available Online.  I was not aware of this, so I might overstate this being good news for the general public and lawyers.

What is nto soclearform the orignalpostis that Indiana's State Court Administration has records for several counties online.  Monroe, Hamilton, DeKalb, Owen, Parke, Floyd, Tipton, Warren, andWashington Counties have their dockets online (think the equivalent of an online Chronological Case Summary).

Divorce Related Site - Property Issues

While plenty of sites exist dealing with issues of parenting and divorce, I never found another a site that deals with property issues until I learned of  Hartman Inventory, LLC

Hartman Inventory, LLC™ secures your material assets by providing documentation for small to medium sized businesses, homeowners and renters. Hartman Inventory understands that you work hard to live the American Dream. We help you remember and prove ownership of your possessions so you can properly recover from disasters and other unforeseen circumstances. Having an insurance policy isn’t enough. Disaster victims are usually required to provide a list of items they are claiming for replacement, including price paid and date purchased.

If you were asked to write down all your belongings without looking around your property, would you remember everything?

Can you afford to lose thousands of dollars worth of contents in your home or business?
The Hartmans have developed a successful inventory method that provides detailed documentation of all that you own. The itemized list and photographs of each room and its contents simplify the process of filling out insurance forms, so you can focus on restoring your life and belongings. Hartman Inventory not only helps maximize your insurance claim reimbursement, but also reduces the emotional stress associated with a disaster.
In addition to disasters, an inventory provides documentation needed for:

* Ensuring you have proper insurance coverage
* Loss or damage in moving or storage
* Estate planning and settlement
* Divorce and pre-nuptial agreements
* A thorough list of all business assets, rather than just those on a depreciation schedule
* Sale or purchase of a business

Interesting Blogs and Websites: Lawlady's Divorce and Entrepeneur Blog

A mixed bag wtih this post.

I forget how I ran across Lawlady's Divorce and Entrepreneur Blog. What I found was a different style from any other divorce/family lawyer/law blog so far.

For me the posts were long (yes, for someone who has a tendency to go on at length this may seem incongruous) and pitched in a different style. They came across as more letters to readers than articles. To me it seems to work, but that may be a bit of admiration undercutting my judgment.  I know I cannot write like than any more than I can write like Ernest Hemingway.  Along with the style comes some serious content.  Here is an example:

 Letter to Divorcing Client: Power Woman Facing Legal Nightmares

No matter what way you decide to handle things (and there are many). The most critical point is to wake up to the cold water of life being splashed in your face and say to yourself, "OK, I'm going to pick up the pace, clear the cobwebs out of my head, and put 100% into making this situation turn out alright." There are many role models and sources of support. But if you look to someone else to provide the necessary adrenaline and fight, you lose something in the process. You lose the ability to know for certain that you gave it all you have. And, really, the best outcome is the one that happens when you are fully prepared to do what it takes (even if that is to look your own fears and make peace with your fearful self). No one cares more than you about your life. Thus, your vote and intention and time and attention matter the most.

I keep learning of sites and organizations that relate to family law of which I never had a clue.  My explanation is that they just are not geared towards lawyers but towards clients.  The National Association of Divorce for Women and Children and WeParent.com are the latest examples of this type of site.  I do encourage anyone who is involved in the family law system to check out these sites.  The more you know the better off you will be.  At least, that is my opinion.

I also ran across two more attorney blogs that might be of interest.  At least I found them interesting.  The Australian Divorce Blog and THE OREGON DIVORCE BLOG I find interesting for the simple reason that I find it cool to see what is going on elsewhere. Writing this blog is as much about my education as yours. Seeing what is done elsehwhere - whether Oregon or Australia - has made me look at the whole of the system we call family law and not just the parts (which is the common state for lawyers and judges).

Something quite different is The Psycho Ex Wife which describes itself this way:

The Psycho Ex Wife is the true account of a marriage, divorce, and subsequent custody fight between a loving man, his terroristic ex-wife who we suspect suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (at least from our armchair psychologist diagnosis), and the husband's new partner. We are not simply anti-mother or pro-father.

I think this is the first blog I have seen that diaries the parties experiences during a family law case.  Which makes me wonder how long before we see more. Lawyers, we might want to keep an eye on this to gtet more insights into our clients/the general public.  Again, that is just my opinion.

Updating Online Resource: Co-Parenting

dadshouse requested that I change this post to change the original linkage.

Thanks to New Hampshire Family Law Blog for the heads up on the blog Dad’s House.  Those without custody of their children ought to check out this blog - and so should custodial parents.

Also some thoughts about co-parenting from The Smart Divorce® Weblog:

Sending Love, My “Different-Functional” Family

Also, here’s an article which appeared on the Maria Shriver’s First Lady of California, Women’s Conference website:

http://www.californiawomen.org/just-who-will-i-be/

Children need to be provided with the understanding that, although their parents live in two separate homes, they are still a family. While the family might have some differences than one with both parents living together, this family is still the same in many ways – they are loved by both parents, they play and have fun like all children, and these children feel good about themselves – all very important messages.

For The Indiana Family Law Attorneys: English Family Law Wiki

Thanks to John Bolch'sThe Family Law Wiki: Update for pointing out the existence of an English family law wiki.

I have written before about wikis here.  I still think this is a good idea for Indiana lawyers to take up and now we have an example of how to do it.

Those who cannot see the sense of a wiki open to the public ought to take a look at Free and the GP. 

People are getting their legal information off of the Internet.  Those people are our potential clients.  Go back and read my Free forms, Thoughts for the Do-It-Yourself Crowd, and Unbundling My Services for more on this point.

I see a wiki backed by, say, the Family Law Section of the Indiana State Bar, as providing solid, trustworthy information to these potential clients.  I should also think that those who aid in creating the wiki should get public acknowledgment of their contributions.  The public and the Bar both receive a benefit.

Now who will start the ball moving?

Online Resource: WomensLaw.org

With a broader scope than this blog, WomensLaw.org does touch on some of the same issues I do.

They have pages on Knowing the Law which breaks down along the lines of state, federal, tribal and religious law.  I do not recall another general site that has links to religious law.  The following is from the sub-page on Indiana custody law:

General Information About Custody and Visitation in Indiana

• Child Custody Information from Indiana Legal Services
• Custody Q&A
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Who has custody of the child if there is no custody order?
• How can I change a custody order?

How will the judge make a decision about custody?

• Best Interest Factors

Definitions
Glossary of Family Law Terms

The following is the site's Preparing for Court page:

The information on these pages will assist you in preparing for Civil court, developing a strong case, and gathering evidence.

• Legal Definitions This page includes legal definitions that are not state-specific. Please note that the definitions of these terms may be different or more specific in your home state.

• Download Court Forms This page includes links to court forms for filing cases. Not all court forms are available online, but you may also find forms from the clerk of court at your local courthouse.

• Preparing Your Case This page provides tips for preparing your protection order case and getting ready for a hearing.

• Choosing and Working with a Lawyer This page provides interview questions and ideas for how to make the most of working with a lawyer.

• When the Legal System Fails You This page provides tips for when the legal system falis you

• Filing Appeals You may have a right to appeal a court order if the judge made an error of law.

Other pages that should have some interest are When the Legal System Fails You and Choosing and working with a lawyer.  Good information and advice appear on both pages.

And, men, I suggest that if any of these topics are of interest to you that you read them, too.

Online Resource: Children's Rights Council

I am only putting this out there so that my readers can know of resources available to them.

Welcome to Children's Rights Council

CRC works to assure a child the frequent, meaningful and continuing contact with two parents and extended family the child would normally have during a marriage. We work to strengthen families through education, favoring family formation and family preservation. Unlike many other organizations with some of the same concerns, CRC is genderless; we are not a women's group nor a men's group. Rather, we advocate what we believe to be in the best interests of children including the Children's Bill of Rights.

Indiana Family Law: Where the Law Comes From - Part 3

Having discussed  legislation (statutes) and court rules, there remains a discussion of case law.  Understand that the appellate courts interpret both statutes and the court rules and those interpretations become part of what we call the law.

I do not think this is the place to discuss the origin and function of the common law (if you really want to look into this further, take a look here, here, and here, and here is you want to discuss the meaning of "law".)  I intend to concentrate on the practical.  Think of case law as explaining how a statute or rule applies to the facts of a case.

Understand there exists a hierarchy of authority.  Decisions of the Indiana Supreme Court trump the decisions of the Indiana Court of Appeals and the trial court, decisions of the Indiana Court of Appeals trump the trial court's decision, and the trial court's decision only controls what happens between the parties.

The Indiana Supreme Court has a page, Appellate Process, describing the appellate process.  I suggest giving it a look.  For more information on the Indiana Supreme Court follow this link and here for the Indiana Court of Appeals.

What we want is the law and it is here:  Indiana Appellate Opinions.  My lawyer readers may find this archive disconcerting - it is not organized, there are no West headnotes, there is no shepardizing device, and the archive does not extend earlier than 1995.  However, there is a search function that seems Google based.

So why point anyone in this direction?  First, because it is free.  Get the raw opinion, read it and then spend your Westlaw/Lexis budget getting the actual case rather than searching for the case.  Secondly, if one knows its limitations, it can still be useful at lesser cost than Westlaw/Lexis.  Three, one can get the cases quicker than with the subscriber services.

Case law presents the problem of being the most unstable source of law.  The General Assembly has not made a fundamental change to our family statutes in over 30 years.  While there are new rules, they have seen little change since their creation.  Case law presents the chance of change every day.

Just reading the statute and/or the rules are not enough.  One must know what - if  anything - the appellate courts have said about how the statute and/or rules are to be applied to a case.  Think of the statute and rules as abstractions and the case law as reality. Or, to use a more colloquial phrase:  case law is where the rubber meets the road.

With all that said, remember that when a case says it is not for publication that that case cannot be cited as law.  They have a use in finding cases that can be cited as law.

For those who never understand what it is that a lawyer does - this process of matching law to facts is one important part of what lawyers do.  Think about this when you think you can do the work yourself and when you wonder what it costs for legal services.

Two Blogs For Non-Custodial Parents

I ran across Rightsfor Mothers.com completely by accident. The name pretty much says it all.

And for the fathers, I give you Stuart Showalter's Indiana Law Blog.

Neither blog is written by a lawyer but both actually seem to serve the same purpose: support and information for the non-custodial parent.

Divorce Support on the Web

Frankly, The London Time's headline With this website I thee divorce oversells and undersells:

Like tens of thousands of men and women facing divorce, Jane was at her wits’ end when she turned to the internet. There she found wikivorce.com, an online support group for couples facing the end of their marriage. The website, which was launched two years ago and boasts a new visitor every minute, is an online community that offers free access to information, support and advice for people going through divorce or separation.

While online chats about divorce and marriage troubles are multiplying on sites such as mumsnet and iVillage, specialist sites such as ondivorce.co.uk and divorce-online.co.uk, which claims 31,000 members, appear to be proof that divorcing couples are increasingly seeking friendship and advice anonymously and online through chat rooms and the blogosphere. But will these burgeoning internet divorce chat rooms mean an end to acrimonious courtroom battles and the need for professional relationship counsellors?

Anyone having any experience with these sites, I ask you to use the comments section below

New Online Resource: Blended Family Reader

I can thank Twitter for finding Blended Family Advice. Too many of us are living in a blended family - stepkids and all that - and not much to help us understand what we are dealing with. (How often do we see blended families on television? Divorced families but I am having a time thinking of a blended family since "The Brady Bunch" but that might say more about how much time I spend with the television). So, not a law site but one that definitely touches on

Give a look at Blended Family about managing family stress which is too long for quoting.

Stupid Lawyers

Thanks to Google Alerts I got to read this forum exchange: drafting documents yourself. valid?. My subject line says what I took away from this short exchange.

I have written before on here about using online or computerized legal forms. They area fact of life that lawyers needs to start acknowledging and get our heads out of the sand.

The general public will use online forms because they see a way of saving money. The general public needs educating that with these forms you get what you pay for. If you do not use them correctly, then you have a good shot at paying a whole lot more to get the problems corrected than what you spent to create the problem.

I have no problem if a client uses an online form as a draft that they want me to review and tweak. Here lies their true worth: they get the client thinking about the subject (cohabitation agreements, prenuptial agreements, power of attorney, etc.) and that can be the hardest part in any conversation about the subject (cohabitation agreements, prenuptial agreements, power of attorney, etc.).

So, people, use them but get a lawyer to review what you are doing. Yes, you will save money and maybe even more than you think.

Ideas for parents not communicating with the ex about kids

A long time ago, I learned that relationships depend on communication. Here are two sites that I have seen touted for helping parents communicate during their divorce. The first is Joint Parents and the other is Family Wizard. This is not an endorsement, just a suggestion to check them out.

The Collaborative Family Law Association of Indiana

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals website shows the following information for Indiana:

IACP: Collaborative law,collaborative practice,collaborative divorce.: "Collaborative Family Law Association of Indiana, Inc.
(7 IACP members)

Service Area: IN USA Contact
Person: Andrew Mallor
Phone: 812-336-0200
Website: Email: acmallor@mcgb.com
Address: 511 Woodscrest Drive
PO Box 5787
Bloomington IN 47407
USA"

A Brilliant Idea from Mississippi

I suspect more lawyers than non-lawyers will find this interesting but The Kisselburgh Law Firm (the same firm that publishes The Mississippi Family Law Blog) now offers a Mississippi Divorce Guide - Free CD.

For most of why I think this is brilliant you need to read the firm;s own description of the CD and its purpose. So go ahead and follow the link. The points made there are also true in Indiana and probably in the other 48 states of the Union.

Which makes this a great service to the citizens of Mississippi. Having been an occasional reader of the The Mississippi Family Law Blog, I have high expectations that the CD is of as high a quality as the blog.

It should also improve the image of our profession generally.

It gives me ideas and I hope it gives others similar thoughts. I also suggest lawyers reading this read Ten Rules of Legal Innovation from the (non)billable hour blog.

"Innovative Lawyer" shouldn't be an oxymoron. Lawyers -- who are constantly applying their creative, problem-solving skills to help clients -- too often turn their innovation engines off as soon as their "billable" work ends.

The times they are a-changing even for lawyers. (Yes, Bob, I am sorry but should be used to it by now).