Monday, December 1, 2008

Collaborative Divorce Updates

Domestic Diversions published Getting through and to the same place: Collaborative process lessens stress of divorce:

“The process is so structured,” Denton explained. “It allows folks to get through and get to the same place so they can make decisions together. It provides an environment where everyone is really motivated to be on their best behavior at a time when it’s sometimes hard to be on your best behavior because you’re so emotional.”
Denton said choice is one of the key advantages to the collaborative process. The couple has much more control in their family’s fate and their finances — as opposed to involving the courts.

I have also learned of Collaborative Divorce Newsblog. Those wanting to know more about the collaborative divorce process might want to take a look at the blog post Short Preview of Hal and Elaine DVD. The DVD is "a demonstration in 21 short chapters of an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce team working with a couple whose divorce-related challenges become increasingly difficult..." (I did not get to listen to all of the demo video - the laptop does not like videos - but I was very interested in what I did hear.)

Collaborative Divorce Newsblog lead me to Collaborative in Jersey. While a relatively new blog and one which the writer is not excessively concerned with aesthetics, I think there is some good writing putting forth some good ideas here. Take a look at Trial by Battle:
A change is needed. In fact, the judges will tell you that no one knows the facts in a case better than the parties and their attorneys. This is the usual warm-up talk our family judges give before sending the parties off to mediate, which is mandatory before the court will give our clients here in Jersey a trial date. They are right, of course. A single person sitting for hours, days or even weeks presiding over a trial is not going to fashion a judgment which is better than an agreement worked out between the spouses. This is a given fact, and is due to the reality that marital breakups are too complicated to resolve by just one person. Some issue or issues are likely to be left unresolved or one or both parties will be so upset by the decision, that years of post-judgment litigation is a certainty. Bu the change is here, and it is called collaborative law. It presents a better and more dignified way in which to resolve marital disputes, and with the least amount of damaging stress to the family. In fact, this evolved form of dispute resolution has already spread through Canada, Europe and into South West Asia. (BTW: Did you read that the Richie’s were going to collaboration? Actually, I thought that Madonna would have preferred public exposure (ugh!), but she is a mom first and knows that’s not the way to go.) Collaboration is quickly growing as the first choice for dispute resolution among couples, because people realize that this is a common sense way to handle the most sensitive issues we have within our families. If we litigators, whom have been on the front lines all these years and have witnessed the pain of divorce on all family members, are telling you that the system needs to change, then take our free advice and choose, if you must, a better way to divorce.
Some years ago asked me what my win-loss ratio was like. I replied that I do family law and even a win is more like a loss. I repeat here what I have written in almost every post here about collaborative divorce: until the general public learns about its benefits, collaborative divorce will never take off.

For those looking for more articles on this blog about collaborative divorce, please use the search box above and use that term. There are several.

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