Saturday, July 18, 2009

What Marriage is Not

What’s Wrong With Marriage In America: Expectations! from Maryland Fathers Right Blog reviews “The Marriage-Go-Round,” noted sociologist Andrew Cherlin's “The Marriage-Go-Round,” noted sociologist “The Marriage-Go-Round". It is a long article but worth reading. I caught myself wincing more than once as several items hit home. Here is the conclusion, and I cannot quibble with a single point:

The most profound thing I ever read was this: that the most authentic human experiences cannot be reduced to symbols. That’s what words are, symbols. And intimacy is the single most authentic human experience we can know. It’s not in his kiss. It’s not in her words. It’s in the choices he or she makes for you in small moment, after small moment, stringing down the years of your time together.

Put that on a Hallmark card? It’ll never happen. Wouldn’t sell. But if more Americans looked for that, instead of a status symbol, or an emotional babysitter and took their time to be sure that’s what they were both giving and getting, there would be a lot less wrong with marriage in America.

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