Sex, Lies, Videotape - and Family Law Cases

Something from the news and out of Florida by way of Modern divorce and The Divorce Saloon that might be a bit of a shocker.

Who gets custody of pornographic photos man posted of wife online?

Cajamarca, 39, an investment consultant, would not discuss the dispute, except to say that his estranged wife knew he was publishing some of the photos.

He took them with her consent before their marriage went sour, according to the suit.

Pornographic photos can create major contention in divorce

The wife argues that she did not give her husband permission to publish the photographs and she only intended for him to see them, not the whole world. But the thing is, there is nothing in writing that says he is prohibited from sharing the photos with others. There is nothing in writing that limits the scope of his ownership of these pictures. When she purported to knowingly pose for these and knowingly and willfully make whatever videos or whatever the man now has on her, she was assuming the risk that her future reputation would be tarnished if the photos ever got out. Cause she ought to have known the divorce rate in this country and she should have done her calculus and said, you know what? I love you right now, you love me right now, we intend to stay married till we are 102, but since I have no way of knowing that this is how this nuptial will actually play out, there are a number of things I am not going to do. And the top of that list is making anything pornographic with your arse, cause if we ever get divorced you may publish all my business on the Internet and destroy my name and reputation in the process.

But she didn’t do that. She was a willing participant. And now she bears the consequences – and it is usually the wife who will be most tarnished by this, unless, of course, the husband is running for President of the United States. Women are judged much more harshly in scenarios like this. And we are most embarrassed by it. So why do this to yourself in the first place? Why participate?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. Some people are photographed, etc, and they do not know that an untrustworthy partner is setting them up in this way. That is different. But when you knowingly and willingly party to this? I have zero sympathy when that filth gets out. I really do. Sorry. But I don’t understand how anyone can make these tapes, pictures and videos (JUST CAUSE THEY ARE MARRIED) and then cry foul when it winds up on the Internet with a partner turns on them.

Many years ago - back when Internet access was by dial-up and when VHS was the norm instead of dead - I had a custody case that had similar facts.  It was a great embarrassment to my client and an even greater embarrassment when her ex-husband gave the tapes to the person seeking custody.  For the custody case, she was fortunate that there was no impact on the children.

A tip for anyone who decides to get naughty with their digital cameras, think long and hard before you decide to exercise your inner Martin Scorsese.  Remember Paris Hilton and all the other videos that have made the Internet and the news.

Second tip, if you and your significant other decide to indulge in home film making  - keep control over the images.  Preferably, do not save them.

I also noticed - after writing the above - that Florida Divorce & Family Law Blog has a brief article on this case and this subject here.

Remember, if you want more information about retaining me for a case, please give me a call at 765-641-7906.