Friday, November 6, 2009

The Pro Child Way

Thanks to Dick Price's Responding to Provocation for tipping me off about How NOT to React to Your EX! | Single Again! Now What?
What is the cinching element to The Pro-Child Way? Mindfulness. It’s that moment where you stop reacting to your ex and let the stillness guide your heart. It’s the breath in, before you say something spiteful about your ex in front of your child. It’s the glance downward towards your child, before your eyes start rolling up in aggravation. Mindfulness is an opportunity – an opportunity that opens your awareness to choice.

***
Here are two good standbys to have in your “do” list:

Do keep smiling, turn, and walk away from your ex

When you become better at multi-tasking, add vocal to the smile/turn/walk routine.

Do sound “hmmmm” then smile/turn/walk away.

In your mindfulness, it’s much better to choose to say nothing than to react with an under-processed thought. It really doesn’t matter if your ex thinks you’ve lost it. It isn’t your ex’s opinion that matters anymore. Your child will benefit from your practice of mindfulness, and you will too. It’s from this point that you can start your journey down The Pro-Child Way.
Go read the full article, I think it will be worth the time (after all, that is why I posted this.)


3 comments:

Joanie said...

Hi Sam,

Thank you for believing in the "pro-child way" after divorce.

Joanie Winberg
www.NADWC.org

Sam Hasler said...

No, thank you for formulating the idea. It is a concept that I think many of us have in our heads but have not articulated.

Ellen Kellner said...

Sam,
"Having it in your head" is a fantastic first step. That is the hardest part: for divorced parents to even think that they have a choice over Reacting.

The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex will be available at Amazon in January.

Best wishes to all,
Ellen Kellner
www.TheProChildWay.com