“Got you a nice little earner for you for tomorrow,” said my Instructing Solicitor SlipperySlope on Monday. “Family case. Very simple.”
“But I don’t know anything about family law,” I answered.
“Don’t worry about that. You probably still know more than me and anyway, it’ll settle, I promise.” Then he added slightly mysteriously, “The judge’ll see to that.
So it was that I ended up doing my first family law case yesterday. I’d done a bit of research but was still massively out of my depth and I admit that my knees were shaking just a little. Which wasn’t helped any when the judge then boomed at my opponent: “Who’s paying for this complete waste of time and money?”
“Er, er,…” My opponent didn’t seem to be any more confident than me in this area and he was stumped. “Er, Your Honour, may I please take instructions?”
“You certainly may. But let me warn you now. If this case is being funded by the taxpayer and it doesn’t settle pretty sharpish, it’s the sort of case where the papers may just well end up with the inland revenue.”