Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Fathers and Custody: What It Takes

I want to gripe. When I hear that the courts are biased against fathers, I get annoyed. I will happily agree that the courts are not perfect. Find me a lawyer who says they are and I suspect you will find one that does not go in front of judges. Those fathers who I hear say that the courts are biased against them fall into two groups - or such is my experience. Those who do not seem to want to try for custody and are looking for an excuse not to pursue custody. The second group are those complaining about having lost.

Neither group provides evidence that the children's best interests is better served by them having custody. Therein lies the answer to the whole question: what is your evidence. Evidence does not mean a desire or a demand but facts.

Maryland's Father's Rights Blog puts all this into perspective in one paragraph its Fathers and Custody: It starts at birth post:

"The best way for a father to succeed in a custody case is to show a history and pattern of involvement from the day a child is born. One way for fathers to do this is to take advantage of paternity leave and stay involved . . . through toddlerhood, elementary school and beyond. Children deserve the best of both parents. This commitment of time and attention often requires sacrifices. Often, you won’t be paid for the time you take off from work. But the reward you gain is well worth the loss. You win an attachment to your child that will sustain you throughout your lives."
Invest in your relationship with your child with that kind of quality involvement and there is your evidence. That is the kind of father I am quite happy in representing in a custody case.

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