Another Post On How To Avoid Litigation

Pay attention to 10 things your children will thank you for from Woolley and Co. Solicitors:

1. Keeping arguments away from them and avoid criticism of the other parent.
2. Being able to talk to the other parent about their needs (even though it may be hard sometimes)
3. Allowing them to miss the other parent and make contact when they want to, even encouraging contact when you think they might want it.
4. Recognise they have feelings which might be confusing and contradictory.
5. Ask them what they think and listen to what they say (but do not make them responsible for decisions)
6. Value them as developing people with their own friends and networks
7. Remember they can cope with different rules so long as they know what to expect in each household.
8. Be consistent about arrangements made and not letting them down
9. Be flexible to their changing needs.
10. KNOWING THEY LOVE YOU BOTH AND WANT TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS THEIR LOVE

I am going to suggest that the parent who cannot do these 10 things ought not be thinking of joint or shared custody.

Parenting Time - Illinois Video Visitation in Action

I mentioned Illinois' new video visitation statute in What About Electronic/Online Parenting Time in Indiana. Now from pressofAtlanticCity.com comes

Divorced parents keep in contact with their children via video phone calls that gives a pretty positive view of what is going on in Illinois.

CHICAGO - Greg Baddick helped his 9-year-old daughter learn the state capitals of the Midwest. Later, when he asked Isabella how her test went, she said she got an A-plus - although she almost forgot the answer for Nebraska.

"Congratulations," Baddick said via an Internet video link, the same way he helped her study. "I'm proud of you."

Because Baddick, a senior manager for a pharmaceutical company, is divorced from Isabella's mother, he helped his daughter study using their laptop computers and the Internet. The virtual visits are a weekly date for the pair, in addition to the in-person weekly visits and twice monthly weekend stays. Isabella lives in Elgin, Ill., Baddick in Chicago.

***

Chicago family law attorney Jeffery Leving, who said he helped write and lobby for the changes to the law, said he hopes the changes help noncustodial fathers and open up opportunities for children to be in contact with incarcerated fathers.

"The electronic visitation - primarily the cell phone and now the computer - in my opinion, is a psychological lifeline for the child," said Leving, whose firm specializes in fathers' rights.

Bruce Boyer, director of the Loyola Civitas ChildLaw Clinic, said virtual visitation has been helpful in custody cases involving parents who are great distances from each other or in cases where a parent should not have physical proximity to his or her children but would still like to visit and have a relationship.

But, he cautioned, virtual visits should not take the place of in-person interaction whenever safe and possible.

"It's a lesser alternative to face-to-face contact," Boyer said. "If you don't have a better alternative, it can be a very good way of maintaining contact."

Baddick and Isabella's mother divorced in 2003, and the father recalls the emptiness he felt when he first drove away from the family home. His daughter, he said, also remembers.

"It was horrible. It took me a while to get over it," he said. "I struggled for years and years."

But then the father and daughter adjusted, and in recent years, they discovered virtual visitation. In the Baddicks' case, the visits aren't part of an official custody agreement, but rather worked out informally between Isabella's parents.

Isabella likes the video phone.

"It's really cool that you get to talk to your dad and see him," she said.

I have written about alternate means of visiting with the children in Parenting Time - Alternate Means. Between that article and my post on Illinois mentioned above, I think I have made it clear that I think nothing Indiana law prohibits electronic/Internet visitation.

Nothing specifically endorses the idea either. Right now I think a party wanting this sort of visitation needs to specifically request the court include Internet visitation in its parenting time orders.

It is my understanding that with the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines now being under review, it will be proposed for a specific provision similar to Illinois. I have to wonder how many people this will help (I think I still have a lot of clients who do not have Internet access and of those who do I am not sure if they have the equipment to accommodate video exchanges), and so I am asking these questions:

1. What do you think Indiana should include Internet visitation in the Parenting Guidelines?
2. Do you have the computer system to visit by video link?
3. Does the other parent have the computer system to visit by video link?
4. How many of you will be willing to acquire a computer system and/or Internet connection that will enable video links?
   

Enforcing Indiana Visitation Rights

Between reading WHAT IS NEEDED FOR VISITATION ENFORCEMENT? and an e-mail from a client of mine, I think I need to clarify some points about enforcing parenting time/visitation that I made in my What to do if refused visitation? and .

First, let us be clear - withholding child support means only more trouble and not less.

Second, the remedy is contempt. See Deckard v. Deckard, 841 NE 2d 194, 203(Ind Ct. App. 2006).

Which brings me to the first point where I find the solutions suggested by WHAT IS NEEDED FOR VISITATION ENFORCEMENT? to be wrong. In addition to the court order granting visitation, it is suggested that a second document be filed with the court and served on the custodial parent:

This sample document is used to notify the non-custodial parent of intent of visitation and printed with permission from DADS Against Discrimination and is intended to help document attempts made while exercising court ordered visitation.

Utterly unnecessary. Custodial parent has all the notice necessary from the court order granting visitation. So does the court. The non-custodial does not give notice because the visitation schedule is expected to be followed without any other action by the non-custodial parent.

Read this from the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines:

2. Punctuality. Each parent shall have the child ready for exchange at the beginning and at the end of the scheduled parenting time and shall be on time in picking up and returning the child. The parents shall communicate as early as possible regarding any situation that would interfere with the timely exchange of the child.

Commentary

Punctuality is a matter of courtesy. Parents should make every effort to pick up and return a child at the agreed time, and not substantially earlier or later. Parents should recognize, however, that circumstances occur that require leeway in the scheduled times. Phone calls are always appropriate when there will be a delay.

This document fails to serve as evidence of visitation but only that the non-custodial parent gave notice. Therefore, it does nothing when custodial parent says the non-custodial parent did not show up.

Further down the page on WHAT IS NEEDED FOR VISITATION ENFORCEMENT?, the site gives advice on how to prove a denial. About the only one that seems even useful to me is to bring a witness.

Getting cop can be done but do not expect them to come along happily, if they do. Police consider this a civil matter and their job deals with criminal matters.

The custodial parent should have copy of the order granting visitation. Therefore, it is wholly unneeded unless non-custodial expects the police to show up and ask why he is there. Also, bringing only the Divorce (or Paternity) Decree can be useless if the Decree was modified and you do not also bring along the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines. Most Decrees now say IPTG at a minimum. (Do not expect the police to know about any of this - visitation is a civil matter and outside their training). Understand that means you got 80 plus pages in your hand by this time, if you follow the suggestions given.

As evidence that you got denied visitation, 4 and 5 are pretty useless. Doing this only proves that you made the recording. Here is the scenario in every visitation case I have tried - defending or pursuing:

Attorney: You were to have visitation on X date?
Non-custodial: Yes.
Attorney: What happened?
Non-Custodial: I was not allowed to have my children.
Attorney: Did custodial give you a make up date?
Non-Custodial: No.

With that the non-custodial establishes a prima facie case for contempt. Remember the burden is on the custodial parent to prove they did not commit contempt. Recording that you got there and were denied changes nothing, adds nothing, to the evidence of the custodial parent.

What confused one of my client is that every missed visitation does not merit a contempt affidavit. No client could afford the cost, no court is going to want to see an affidavit for every missed weekend. If the custodial continues to refuse visitation after filing of a contempt affidavit, the post-filing refusals become evidence of contempt and goes to whatever remedy the trial court orders for the case (such as the number of make up visitation).

Also, see my Enforcing Parenting Time: Contempt

Is This a Trend? Publicizing Visitation Problems Online?

Some may notice that I am now on Twitter - there is a feed from my Twitter posts in the sidebar. Others may not know what is Twitter - I tend to think of it as online chat on steroids. People opt in to follow what one writes.

One person following me goes by the name of wiferevolution. And what does wiferevolution write about? The problems that their new husbands have in enforcing their visitation rights. Although just starting out, they have the potential to reach millions.

here we go with the ex and her exchange drama. Why can't she just obey #court orders. #fathers_rights #divorce #child_custody 2:52 AM Jan 6th from web

So will publicity change how people behave? Maybe. I doubt that the ex-wives complained of in their tweets and on their blog will do anything to change their ways unless they get named. That means loss of wiferevolution's privacy.

Some day, someone will start naming names. Naming the parties, the lawyers, the judges and so on. Yes, that will move the tawdriness and the fighting out of the relative anonymity of the real world into the openness of the Internet. I can see a great deal of ugliness, probably some defamation litigation, but maybe also some benefits in that people will start thinking more about their behavior. No, it will not be cure all - some people will not care what anyone thinks.

As I write this, I have in mind a case coming up later this week. Opposing counsel and I have made every effort to get the mother to follow the visitation order. The parties agreed to mediation and everything went fine - for about a week. Saying my client is terribly frustrated is an understatement. His frustration only compounds my own - until a judge finally hears the case, there is nothing more for me to do. The idea that publicity would shame her into better behavior appeals to me. I suspect that wiferevolution finds writing about the ex-wife problems releases some of the frustration. I think that my client would find the same release, through a similar outlet, if he had the time.

Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines Cases and Google Scholar

Yesterday I decided to see what Google Scholar has to offer and to combine it with another project - collecting the case law for the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines. Using the query "Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines", I got the following (after eliminating the not-for-publication cases and those that just mention the IPTG without discussing them).

So far I am far more impressed than when I first heard that Google was cataloging appellate court opinions. The results show not only the West citation but the internal pagination. (For non-lawyers that means citations can be made to the exact page as the West Reporter). There is also citator (can anyone say a free Shepard's?)

Downsides are three: 1) no headnotes and the results page is not overly helpful; 2) if you base your research on the West Key Numbers then you are very much out of luck; and 3) it is not clear how far back we can get opinions. When I tried to find a 1917 case (Ellingham v. Dye), I got a citation to the case but not the case itself.

On the other hand, not sure that these downsides outweigh the benefits and being free.

Note that this was a pretty simple search - there are options for advanced searching that should be looked at for a more complex search.

Let us get to the results. Where the case discusses a particular section of the Parenting Time Guidelines, I have put the reference in parenthesis.

1. 2009

2. 2008
   

3. 2007

   1. Tompa v. Tompa, 867 NE 2d 158 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2007 (preamble, flexibility)

4. 2006

   1. Beaman v. Beaman, 844 NE 2d 525 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2006 (See Ind. Parenting Time Guidelines, Scope of Application, 2 )

   2. Shelton v. Shelton, 840 NE 2d 835 - Ind: Supreme Court 2006 ( section I(C)(3) )

   3. Shelton v. Shelton, 835 NE 2d 513 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2005 ( section I(C)(3) )

5. 2005

   1. In re Paternity of GRB, 829 NE 2d 114 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2005 (I(D)(4), mid-week )

6. 2004

   1. AGR ex rel. Conflenti v. Huff, 815 NE 2d 120 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2004

   2. MacLafferty v. MacLafferty, 811 NE 2d 450 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2004

7. 2003

   1. Malicoat v. Wolf, 792 NE 2d 89 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2003 (Indiana Parenting Time Guideline I.E.3 )

   2. In re Paternity of KRH, 784 NE 2d 985 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2003

8. 2002

   1. Haley v. Haley, 771 NE 2d 743 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2002

9. 2001

   1. Kaplan v. Cunningham, 757 NE 2d 1026 - Ind: Court of Appeals 2001 (Guideline 1 & modification)

10. 2000

11. 1999

About the pagination, read Legal Research on Google Chrome

The other extension is called Google Scholar Legal Content Star Paginator. Without this extension, cases on Google Scholar display each page number to the left of the line in which the page begins. By contrast, with the extension, the page number goes immediately prior to the first word of the page. Of course, careful researchers should check the source material to be sure that the paging is accurate. Nevertheless, this extension should be appealing to researchers doing initial searches for case law on Google Scholar. The extension’s developer indicates how to integrate star paging on other browsers; but installing it on Google Chrome requires no instruction other than clicking an “Install” button.

I read this post as referring to the extension creating pagination conflicts.

Indiana Case Law - Parenting Time Credit

Yes, a bit behind time reporting on Vandenburgh v. Vandenburgh as the decision dates back to November 16. DIVORCE LAW INDIANA has already reported on this case with its Indiana Family Law Case Update: parenting time credit isn't automatic. The case makes a good introduction into how courts interpret statutes and Child Support Guidelines.

The father having the children on Monday and Thursday nights raised the parenting time issue. The Indiana Court of Appeals noted that Indiana Child Support Guideline 3(G)(4) does not specify an outcome but gives discretion to trial courts (relying on Grant v. Hager, 868 N.E.2d 801, 802 (Ind. 2007). (Opinion at 3).

The Court of Appeals laid out the law on statutory interpretation in this passage (Opinion at 3):

In Sherrard v. Bd. of Comm’rs of Fulton County, 151 Ind. App. 127, 130, 278
N.E.2d 307, 309 (1972), we noted the rule of statutory construction that ―[w]ords and phrases shall be taken in their plain, or ordinary and usual, sense. Technical words and phrases having a peculiar and appropriate meaning in law shall be understood according to their technical import.‖ (quoting Ind. Code § 1-1-4-1).

For those thinking, the Child Support Guidelines are not statutes - you are correct. The Indiana Court of Appeals commented on that fact, too.

We acknowledge this guideline is not a ―statute,‖ but believe this rule provides useful guidance in this situation, as it does in contract interpretation. See Armstrong v. Federated Mut. Ins. Co., 785 N.E.2d 284, 292 (Ind. Ct. App. 2003) (when interpreting a contract, clear and unambiguous language will be given itsplain and ordinary meaning), reh’g denied, trans. denied 804 N.E.2d 750 (Ind. 2003).

Which lead to this conclusion:

We do not believe language in the Child Support Guidelines must be interpreted
―in a technical nature, and accordingly hold the language ―may grant the noncustodial parent a credit toward his or her weekly child support obligation‖ means what it says – such credit is not mandatory. See Grant v. Hager, 868 N.E.2d 801, 802 (Ind. 2007) (noting under the Guidelines, a Parenting Time Credit is ―authorized‖ based on the number of overnights children spend with the non-custodial parent). We accordingly decline to hold the trial court was obliged to grant parenting time credit just because Father asked it to and provided evidence that might permit such credit.

I think passage contains some ideas that non-lawyers should absorb about the parenting time credit:

The Child Support Guidelines contain a formula for calculating parenting time
credit based on the number of ―overnights per year that the noncustodial parent spends with the children. Child Supp. G. 6 Table PT. The commentary to the guidelines provides an ―overnight ―should include . . . the costs of feeding and transporting the child, attending to school work and the like. Merely providing a child with a place to sleep in order to obtain a credit is prohibited.‖ Child Supp. G. 6 cmt. The rationale behind the parenting time credit is that overnight visits with the noncustodial parent may alter some of the financial burden of the custodial and noncustodial parents in caring for the children. Young, 891 N.E.2d at 1048. Because calculating the amount of financial burden alleviated by an overnight visit is difficult, the guidelines provide a standardized
parenting time credit formula. Id. Not all visits in which a child stays overnight may qualify for the parenting time credit. Id.

Indiana Family Law Resources

I am not sure how many readers take a look at the sidebar because some seem to miss a collection of links I have under the heading of Indiana Family Law Resources.

When I created this list, my thought was to create a mini-portal for the most important sources for Indiana family. That does not work very well if no one notices that the information is here.

Nor is it really much use to those using RSS feeds or who have an e-mail subscription.

Every parent should bookmark the first three links.

• Indiana's Parenting Time Guidelines
• Indiana Child Support Guidelines
• Indiana's Online Child Support Calculator
• Indiana Trial Courts and Clerks
• Indiana's Family Law and Juvenile Law Code
• Indiana Rules of Trial Procedure
• Indiana Rules of Appellate Procedure

If you are looking for a specific trial court, then go to Indiana Trial Court and Clerks. This page is maintained by our Indiana Supreme Court. Find the county and this will take you a page showing contact information for each court in a county, the judge's name, a map to the courthouse, and a link to the county's local rules.

Indiana's Family Law and Juvenile Code takes you to Title 31 of the Indiana Code. Here you will find the statutes on marriage, annulment, divorce, parenting time, custody, paternity. child support, and more.

The Indiana Rules of Trial Procedure contains all the rules needed in handling a case procedurally (as opposed to the substance found i the Guidelines and statutes). Not all apply to family law - such as anything dealing with jury trials - but these need knowing for trying a case and they apply in all counties.

Indiana Rules of Evidence are those rules about what is relevant evidence and how we get that evidence before a court. Don't follow these and you do not get your case made.

Indiana Rules of Appellate Procedure are the rules on how to create and handle an appeal in Indiana's Court of Appeals and Supreme Court.

Well, I hope this helps. Bookmark the specific sites or come back here - these will be here.

Parenting Time - Think the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines For Christmas are Confusing?

Do not feel lonely.

Give a look at Confused by Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines (by the way, the answer from LD got it right) and Familiar with Indiana parenting time Guidelines? .. Christmas break?.

Tamie Jo Morog of Kirtley, Taylor, Sims, Chadd & Minnette, P.C. F wrote It's holiday parenting time from The Paper of Montgomery County and she digests the holiday rule like this:

If there are issues, consult the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines (IPTGs). Regarding Christmas vacation, the IPTGs state that each parent gets "One-half of the period which will begin at 8 p.m. on the evening the child is released from school and continues to Dec. 30 at 7 p.m. If the parents cannot agree on the division of this period, the custodial parent shall have the first half in even-numbered years." This year is an odd numbered year. Therefore, the non-custodial parent gets the first half of this period. The custodial parent then gets the second half. The New Year's holiday begins on Dec. 30 at 7 p.m. and continues until 7 p.m. of the evening before school resumes. In years ending with an even number, such as 2010, the non-custodial parent gets to exercise this parenting time. Therefore this New Year's holiday is the non-custodial parent's holiday.

She also gives some good advice that is well worth passing along:

Remember, however, that the IPTGs are only recommendations. The best way to exercise holiday parenting time with children is to give due consideration to all family traditions - even the other parent's family traditions. Children's lives are enriched if they can celebrate their families' traditions. They should not have to experience their parents bickering or have the pressure of mom and dad fighting, or arguing about where the children are going to be at any certain time or who they are going to be with.

Please remember, put the children first. They will never be this age again, but they will remember how their parents treated each other for the rest of their lives.

Ryan Cassman presents another problem in his Holiday Parenting Time - What Time Does Christmas Eve Start?. Thankfully, I have not had this problem but Mr. Cassman presents a tidy solution:

Holiday parenting time disputes bring out the best or worst in parents, and if your divorce attorney is getting the call, it is likely the worst. So, if you do the math, by the hour the midpoint between December 18th at 8.pm. and December 30th at 7 p.m. is 7:30 p.m. on December 24th.

Parenting plans & Parenting Time

I started following DIY Divorce in Florida on Twitter and noticed this post from her blog:

Florida Parenting Plans - The Basics & Beyond. This got me thinking about how we do things in Indiana. As I read the following, most of this seems to be covered by the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines. These points seem covered by our Guidelines:

Jurisdiction

Your Children’s Rights

General Principles of Shared Parenting

Parent-Parent Communication

Transportation & Travel

See SCOPE OF APPLICATION, EXCHANGE OF INFORMATION and A CHILD’S BASIC NEEDS.

So we just say that the Guidelines apply and leave it at that. But then some points about we do not, that gave me something to think about:

Decision-making

* Education
* Medical
* Child Care Provider
* Religion
* Activities

***

Changes to the Plan

Parent-Child Communication Plan

Timesharing Plan - 7 different samples and a blank template you can customize

* Holidays, School Breaks, Vacations and Special Occasions
* Summer Schedule

We do not do this. The Guidelines cover the holiday (HOLIDAY PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE) and and Summer schedules but I infer a difference between us and this type of voluntary plan.

I find the "Changes to the Plan" intriguing as we rely on the visitation modification statute for modifying parenting time - see IC 31-17-4-2. That statute uses the best interests of the child standard.

Mentioning "best interests" brings me to A parenting plan may not be modified solely on "best interests" from The New Hampshire Family Law Blog. That post notes and quotes at length from a New Hampshire opinion wherein a parenting plan cannot be modified on showing of the best interests of the child alone unless the parties agree or meet the New Hampshire statute's requirements:

...However, for routine and holiday schedule changes or other issues that do not call for a change in residential responsibility, there needs to be a mechanism to allow for modification based on best interests so that the court may tweak a parenting plan as the current needs of the child dictate.

Maybe the detailed breadth and depth of our Guidelines are not such a bad thing.

Then maybe we lose something, too. By not writing their own parenting plans, Hoosiers lose being part of the process. Another part of the New Hampshire opinion quoted in A parenting plan may not be modified solely on "best interests" caught my and turned my mind onto this particular path:

The parenting plan form itself encourages parents to view the plan as a work in progress as the children grow and their needs change from infant to teen, but the statute itself does not allow for the changes except in the case that the parents agree or major issues develop as set forth in 461-A:11.

I do not know Indiana parents even notice not being part of the process but just see The Parenting Time Guidelines as something they must accept. Not many realize that the courts are bound by the Guidelines but not the parties. Maybe most parents have no real objection to the Guidelines. Neither the Bar nor the bench have anyway of knowing.

If you think you want to create your parenting plan I suggest giving the Florida Parenting Plans - The Basics & Beyond a good look.

Also go back and read my "Parenting Time: Idea on Scheduling Times for Visitation" on the specific issue of communication.

Explaining first right of refusal for children in Indiana

Someone queried with "explain first right of refusal for children in Indiana" to get here,  I do not know why the query did not lead them to two posts I have here on the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines' right of first refusal. Those articles are:

• Parenting time - Right of First Refusal 
• Following Up on ""Parenting time - Right of First Refusal"

The bottom line is this:  if non-custodial parent is available to watch the children while the custodial parent has to work, then the non-custodial parent has a right of first refusal to watch the children.  

What About Electronic/Online Parenting Time in Indiana

I have written before on this (Parenting Time - Alternate Means) but I ran across Electronic Communication as Parental Visitation? from Family Law Prof and thought it worth writing on again. Seems Illinois has passed a law with the following provision:

Illinois General Assembly - Illinois Compiled Statutes

(2) "Electronic communication" means time that a parent spends with his or her child during which the child is not in the parent's actual physical custody, but which is facilitated by the use of communication tools such as the telephone, electronic mail, instant messaging, video conferencing or other wired or wireless technologies via the Internet, or another medium of communication.

Although that the Indiana Parenting Guidelines predate the explosion of Internet communications other than e-mail, I do not think there is anything in the following that does not include the same things as Illinois' statute. I do not think we need a statute (but might be something to think about

A. COMMUNICATIONS

1.Between Parents. Parents shall at all times keep each other advised of their home and work addresses and telephone numbers. Notice of any change in this information shall be given to the other parent in writing. All communications concerning a child shall be conducted between the parents. Any communication shall occur at reasonable times and places unless circumstances require otherwise. A child shall not be used to exchange documents or financial information between parents.

2. With A Child Generally. A child and a parent shall be entitled to private communications without interference from the other parent. A child shall never be used by one parent to spy or report on the other. Each parent shall encourage the child to respect and love the other parent. Parents shall at all times avoid speaking negatively about each other in or near the presence of the child, and they shall firmly discourage such conduct by relatives or friends.

3. With A Child By Telephone. Both parents shall have reasonable phone access to their child at all times. Telephone communication with the child by either parent to the residence where the child is located shall be conducted at reasonable hours, shall be of reasonable duration, and at reasonable intervals, without interference from the other parent.

If a parent uses an answering machine, voice mail or a pager, messages left for a child shall be promptly communicated to the child and the call returned.

I should also add that the Guidelines set out the minimum - there is no reason that the parties cannot agree to include other communication media as part of parenting time.

Parenting Time: Idea on Scheduling Times for Visitation

Brian Galbraith of Ontario Family Law Blog has an idea that I have never seen before and I like the more I think about it.  The usual suggestion is for parents to get a calendar to keep track of problems about visitation.  Mr. Galbraith puts forth something more positive in his Scheduling Events When Divorced .  I see this as a very good means for parents to comply with Section I. E. of the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines on exchanging information.  (You may also want to go back and read my Parenting Time - An Online Help For Parents).

For many years, I have encouraged clients whose separation is fresh and raw to use a communication book. One of the parents purchases a blank book which is used to discuss any proposed changes to the access schedule, illnesses of the children, milestones, accomplishments, discipline problems and upcoming events in the children's lives. I encourage the parents to decorate the book with photos of the children on the outside of the book (to remind the parents to stay focused on their children's best interests) and to plan on giving the book to their children when they are adults (to encourage the parents to treat each other respectfully and politely in the book since their children will read it one day).

Yes, it still can be used for litigation purposes but my understanding is that it is not its chief purpose.  I see this being used to inform the other parent of all events the child is involved in - think Little League as well as Christmas concerts.

Whether you use the old fashioned communication book, Our Family Wizard, Google Calendar, emails, meetings or phone calls, find a way to communicate respectfully and in a timely manner. If you don't make an effort, your children will suffer. Your children deserve parents who will put aside their own personal feelings toward each other and find a way to communicate with each other, for the children's sake... and you don't want to miss another Christmas concert!

He also provides two online solutions with Google Calendar being the second option.

A free option is Google Calendar. It does not have all the bells and whistles of "Our Family Wizard" because it isn't designed for separated families, but it is free. A calendar is set up over the Internet with access restricted to you and your spouse or third parties agreeable to the parents. It's private and available wherever you can access the Internet. You can post upcoming events on the calendar such as the next hockey tournament or dance recital so everyone knows about it in advance.

Online services do provide the means to communicate in ASAP mode. I think Zoho has some services that might also apply.  Other online services might be found by using Google. 

The thing is to get started.

So a new idea for my practice and one that others should - I think - take very seriously.

Adding to What Other Indiana Family Law Blogs Are Saying

When I wrote What Other Indiana Family Law Blogs Are Saying, I overlooked Divorce Indiana Blog. My apologies for the oversight.

Some articles that interested me:

• Military divorce or separation? What are the basics that you need to know?
• Parenting Time Restriction, Reduction and Termination (which is another reminder that I ahve been remiss on my reading case law and blogging).
  

Thoughts on Parental Alienation Syndrome

Not too long ago I was taken to task for a post on Parental Alienation Syndrome. The writer mistook reporting for advocacy, but he made one point that has stuck with me. I do not think any of my reports on PAS can be understood as my having any psychology training - nor do I think that any lawyers speaking on PAS do likewise.

The writer also made the point that PAS is not a recognized syndrome by the appropriate professional societies in charge of such things. He missed the points I think all lawyers try to make about PAS: 1) this kind of behavior does not help one's case; and 2) that what some writers call PAS lawyers recognize some recognizable behavior such as we really do not care whether it is a psychological condition as we think of it as part of human nature.

In an earlier post, I went on at some length about Euripedes' Medea.  I suspect we would have a great shortage of poetry and literature but for a certain unreason running through human nature.  History would have a fewer wars.

Likewise, our courts would lose a certain amount of work but for the same sort of unreason.  We see the similar behavior in probate litigation (give Dickens' Bleak House a look or The Probate Lawyer Blog and posts such as Family fight over control of Michael Crichton's trust.).  Consider the continual laments about American litigiousness:  Froot of the Poisonous Tree of Litigiousness, the entirety of Lowering the Bar and Overlawyered Blogs,

What this type of behavior in the family law setting is that the subject of the behavior/litigation is not a pile of money but a child.  While much of our adversarial system does not translate well into the child custody/visitation area, here might be a compensation.  Lawyers and judges see this behavior often enough in other contexts that we know what we are seeing in the child custody/visitation context without the need of a psychological label.  Putting the most polite word to it that I can, we know a jerk when we see one.

Perhaps from Toronto Family Lawyer explains this process best in his Children’s Wishes and Paternal Alienation:

2. Parental Alienation

Justice Harper did not make a determination regarding whether this was a case of Parental Alienation. Counsel for the father argued that Parental Alienation evidence accepted in another case should be accepted as evidence in lieu of expert testimony in this case. Justice Harper did not believe that it was proper to accept a summary of expert testimony from another case because such evidence could not be scrutinized. He also did not believe that he could take judicial notice of Parental Alienation.

He went on to explain that a finding of Parental Alienation was not necessary in this case because the Best Interest of the Child test provided him with the framework he needed to make a proper custody decision. As he put it, “In this matter, I do not need expert testimony to help me draw the necessary inferences on the evidence. The concept of the best interest of the child is a legal concept and not a clinical concept. I will restrict my analysis to the factors set out in the Children’s Law Reform Act s. 24 in determining the best interest of the child.”

One final thought, about the role lawyers play in encouraging the behavior of jerks.  I suppose we all know lawyers who propagate themselves as stout fighters, the ones who scare everyone by their mere presence.  These people do not help discourage certain types of behavior in their clients.   They will probably continue so long as there are clients who want this type of service.  When it becomes unprofitable to have this as the only type of practice, it will stop.

However, I have a suggestion if you think this is the only type of divorce lawyer or the best type of divorce lawyer.  Check out sites like Collaborative Divorce and Family Law (on Twitter here), or divorcehelp.me (on Twitter here), or put "collaborative divorce" in the search box above.

What Other Indiana Family Law Blogs Are Saying

I have been writing about many things the past few months and been writing about others are writing elsewhere but realized this past week that I have not truly noted what other Indiana family law blogs are writing about. I think all of us have a slightly different slant (I sometime call my cantankerously pedantic)  That is my mea culpa and here is what I have for you.

William Wilson of South Bend, Indiana writes Indiana Family Law.  He may have even started his blog before me and is consistent on his emphasis on collaborative family law.  Here reminded us back in October that the new child support guidelines take effect next month - Indiana Child Support Guidelines changing.  Here are some other posts very much worth reading:

• Why can’t my child decide which parent he wants to live with?
• What is it like to go to court? Looking for stories  There is a good point here for non-lawyers and lawyers in this one.  A point I may be just as guilty of anyone else - remembering that non-lawyers have no idea what court will be like. (And he is looking for comments, if you got stories  then let him know!)
• How to survive your divorce: a free ebook.  Thinking I want to see this, too.

Ryan Cassman publishes All Things Family Law - Indiana Divorce & Family Law Blog and practices with Hollingsworth & Zivitz, P.C..  He has been kind enough to point out some things on here but I still like him and his blog!  Well, enough to keep a close eye on what he is doing.  Here are some of the posts I have not noted and like:

• Joint Legal Custody - Religious Services and Parenting Time
• Retirement and Divorce - Are Paid Health Insurance Premiums An Asset? (He has been much better than I have been lately of writing up new appellate cases.
• Indiana Child Support Guidelines - High Earners Pay More, Low Earners Pay Less.  Pay attention to this one - another article about our new child support guidelines - these will be a major disruption from what I have heard and what I have been able to get read.

Down in New Albany, the firm  Waters Tyler Scott Hofmann & Doane, LLC publish DIVORCE LAW INDIANA.

• Indiana Family Law Case Update: refusal to sign joint tax return & taking kids to church during visitation.  Another reminder that I have been remiss in not reporting on new Indiana cases.
• Split custody of siblings - not a subject I have seen discussed anywhere else.
• Taking your child holiday shopping for your ex-spouse.  Again, something I have not seen written about.
  

Holiday Parenting Time Reminder

From  All Things Family Law - Indiana Divorce & Family Law Blog comesa a complete reprinting of just the holiday parenting time guideliness.  Chagrined that I did not think of this myself.

Here is my contribution from last year,  Parenting Time: HOLIDAY PARENTING TIME SCHEDULE.

Parenting Time - An Online Help For Parents

A bit of catching up here on publishing with Online service helps divorced parents keep children's schedules straight from The The Indianapolis Star.  This sounds as it might be useful - even if it is not apparently approved by our Indiana courts.  I have fewer clients online, so I would not want it mandated for use.  Does anyone not think this could not be a help?

After the addition of Volker's kids, scheduling conflicts escalated -- until one night in 2001 when he had an idea. What if the couple could put their schedule online and make it visible to the other parents?

"I had kind of an epiphany," Volker says. "What if I could get everything on the Internet, and we would only have to see the information that was available, for the sake of the kids?"

That's how OurFamilyWizard.com began.

The site, which went live in 2001, allows parents to input their schedules, coordinate days and swap visitation days.

The Web site is court-ordered in 35 states, because the records on the site are time- and date- stamped, and communications are backed up by an electronic breadcrumb trail. Expenses can be logged, and there's even a journal on the site.

The Volkers, along with company president and CEO Jainarain Kissoon, also hope to add a section for child-support payment records.

Getting Ready for Holiday Parenting Time

The Ohio Family Law Blog has good advice for planning holiday visitation in Planning Parenting Time for the Holidays – Tips to Follow.  Overlooking the specific Ohio things (seems they have county parenting time rules versus our state rule), the article contains good sense.  Remember that the parenting time is for the children.  Forgetting this may lead to time spent at the courthouse - and how much fun is that?

With Thanksgiving now jsut a few days away, you may also want to check out The Ohio Family Law Blog's Your Thanksgiving Doesn’t have to be a Turkey!

Everyone knows how depressing the holidays can be without the added pressures of post-divorce stress, and Rosalind Sedacca has an article about dealing with depression.  Go read this.

Local Rules: Fayette County defines “reasonable visitation”

Long before the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines some judges would order "reasonable visitation" without ever defining reasonable visitation.  The general interpretation followed the definition below in the first sentence.  Not that this did not generate lots of litigation over who was and was not being reasonable (one side's reasonableness is the other side's unreasonableness).

Still, I give the Connersville judges credit for putting the emphasis on the parties setting up their own visitation schedule.

LR21-FL00-FL-7

VISITATION ORDERS

The phrase “reasonable visitation” if not specifically defined in the Court’s order is defined as those visitation rights agreed upon between the parties. To the extent the parties cannot agree to the particulars of such visitation, “reasonable visitation” shall be defined as those visitation rights provided for in the Indiana Parenting Times unless the court determines that under the particular circumstances a different visitation schedule is reasonable.

Indiana Parenting Time: Taking the Child Out of State

What does a parent need to do when taking the child out of Indiana for vacation?  The Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines state that it does not matter whether the custodial or non-custodial parent takes the child out of state: 

5.  Emergency Notification.  For emergency notification purposes, whenever a child travels out of the area with either parent, one of the following shall be provided to the other parent: An itinerary of travel dates, destinations, and places where the child or the traveling parent can be reached, or the name and telephone number of an available third person who knows where the child or parent may be located.

The parent taking the child out of state does not need the permission of the other parent.  Certainly no notarized permission from the other parent is necessary.  Nor can the other parent just refuse the other parent taking the child out of state - thinking like this may signal confusion with relocation.  (See my archive of articles on relocation; link to the right of screen and down).